


my first friend, my first love

by sepgu_96line



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, M/M, mentions of other members - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:14:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29635179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sepgu_96line/pseuds/sepgu_96line
Summary: sehun is 3 when he finds his first friend, and it comes in the form of one kim junmyeon
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	my first friend, my first love

Sehun thinks that getting a friend as his third birthday present is the best thing that could happen to him. Kim Junmyeon is a bright six-year-old with round cheeks and soft crinkly eye-smiles, his small chubby fingers clinging onto his pastel pink stuffed bunny. Junmyeon’s eyes sparkle when he sees the smaller boy sitting across him on the floor with his eyebrows furrowed together as he inches towards his mother in discomfort. His mother, bless her soul, nudges Sehun towards the older boy while whispering words of assurance, telling him that Junmyeon and his family had just moved in next door and that he would be very good friends with this sweet boy. Sehun, despite being only three years old, eyes the boy named Junmyeon warily before standing up to waddle over to him. He puffs out his chest in an attempt to assert dominance but instantly gives in when Junmyeon offers him a warm smile, one hand letting go of his stuffed toy to pat the small boy’s head. “Cute boy,” he giggles. Sehun feels his pride swelling at being called cute and leans into the touch, giggling with the older boy.

“Thewun cute!” he beams, eyes twinkling. He then wobbles back to his mother and tugs at her sleeve to catch her attention. He animatedly narrates what happened just a mere second ago, making all the adults laugh and coo at how adorable his storytelling is. Sehun’s mother picks him up and balances him on her lap in which he protests, almost bursting into tears from wanting to play with “Junbun.”

“His name is Junmyeon, sweetie,” his mother corrects him, caressing his hair with care. He cocks his head to the side and lets out a high-pitched confused noise. He perks up when he thinks he gets what the other boy’s name is.

“Mommy, mommy! Thewun want play with Wunmyeon!” he excitedly bounces on his mother’s lap. Not having the heart to correct her son again, she lets Sehun down from her lap and watches him rush over to Junmyeon, holding onto the boy’s hand as soon as he reaches the taller boy. He has a bright smile spread across his face that Junmyeon gladly returns with his own toothy smile, a couple of his front teeth missing. Junmyeon is a patient boy that doesn’t whine in irritation when the younger boy mispronounces his name when he asks the taller boy to play with him, or when he talks to him in general. He listens to Sehun ramble on about how he wants a puppy but his mommy says that he needs to be on his best behavior while at his grandparents’ this weekend if he really wants one. He smiles and nods his head eagerly when the younger boy says that he will show “Wunmyeon” his new puppy when he comes back because he is confident that he will be a good boy that weekend. He soothes the smaller boy when Sehun cries upon realizing that his newfound friend needs to go back home. Junmyeon promises that he will come back tomorrow but he will drop by in the evening after he returns from school and has done his homework. Sehun sniffles and presses the back of his hand to his eyes in an attempt to stop his crying.

“S-Schoowl?” The three-year-old is still sniveling but his tone is filled with curiosity that Junmyeon is more than willing to please. The older boy gives a solid nod, his lips pressed into a wide smile with his eyes forming small crescents.

“Myeonnie goes to school to learn,” Junmyeon explains, flailing his arms enthusiastically while he does so. “Myeonnie also gets to play at school.” Sehun stops his sniffling and removes his hand to look at the older boy. He giggles when he sees the tin indents that had appeared near the corners of Junmyeon’s mouth since he started smiling at Sehun. The smaller boy gives both sides a poke and retracts his hand immediately to clap at how his stubby little finger sinks into the dimples. Sehun’s mother moves to pick him up but he stays rooted to the spot and makes grabby hands at Junmyeon, wanting to hug the older boy goodbye like he always does with his father. Junmyeon understands his gesture and throws his arms around Sehun, enveloping him in a tight bear hug. “Myeonnie will come back to play with Sehunnie tomorrow,” he promises as he removes himself from Sehun to latch onto his mother instead. Sehun beams at him and nods happily.

His family sees their neighbors out and Sehun is quick to leap onto his mother’s lap to recollect his time with Junmyeon. She smiles and laughs a little at how he stumbles on his words but encourages him to go on with his tales, threading her fingers through his hair. As he plays with the stuffed chick that his mother had given him a couple of minutes ago in midst of his story, he remembers what Junmyeon had told him just before he left. “Mommy! Mommy!” he calls out for his mother.

“Yes, darling?” she responds sweetly.

“Thewun want- want go school like Wunmyeon!” His mother is visibly taken aback by his sudden request, eyes growing wide at his words.

“School?” He vigorously nods his head to try and get across the message of how enthusiastic he is to go to school. “Sehun, you can’t go to school yet. Schools are for big boys.” He furrows his eyebrows, not quite understanding why that would be a problem as his eyes begin brimming with tears.

“But why?” he whines. “Thewun big boy, Thewun want go schoowl.” He bursts into tears when his mother stands her ground, shutting down his wish immediately. He keeps on whining and crying about wanting to be like his new friend up to the point where he tires himself out and falls asleep with his stuffed chick held close to his chest. his mother sighs at the sight and picks him up, gingerly placing him on the bed instead to ensure that he has a more comfortable sleep. She runs her fingers through his dark locks and smiles. “I know that I don’t have much time left with you, but I’m going to try to make the best of the time that we have left,” she mumbles under her breath as she tries her best to make sure that the dam holding back her tears remain solid. She places a kiss on the top of his head and gives up on her attempt to not break. She pulls away from Sehun to clasp a hand over her mouth, stifling the sobs that slip from her mouth. “I’m sorry, Sehunnie. Mommy is sorry that she can’t be here for you. Mommy’s sorry, baby. I love you so much.”

As a four-year-old, Sehun is unable to understand why everyone looks so sad at this gloomy place. He sees Grandmama in his aunt’s arms and he ponders as to why there are tears streaming down her cheeks. He cranes his neck to look for his mother, feeling fear of not understanding the situation and just wanting to hold her tight. His father is holding onto his much smaller hand while talking to someone that he has no recognition of. He tugs his father’s hand to get his attention and pouts deeply when he gets ignored. His eyes start to become glassy when everyone pays no heed to him, all engrossed in their own business but all with a very depressing vibe. He lights up when he catches the eye of his friend, promptly letting go of his father’s hand to rush to Junmyeon in knowledge that the older boy will definitely pay attention to him. He hears his father calling out his name and opts on dealing with the scolding later, wanting to feel the warmth and security that Junmyeon always provided him every time they played together. He throws his arms around the taller boy’s waist and hears him let out a small oof before wrapping his arms around Sehun to return the embrace. “What is Myeonnie doing here?” he asks, his voice muffled by Junmyeon’s suit. “Why is Myeonnie wearing a suit like Sehunnie?”

“I don’t know, Sehunnie,” his friend answers with full honesty. “My mommy just said that we’re here to visit someone who passed away last night.” Sehun pulls away from the hug to look up at Junmyeon with a frown etched on his face from hearing something so foreign.

“Passed away? What’s that?” 

“Mommy said it’s when someone goes to some faraway place and doesn’t come back. She says that we won’t be able to see that person anymore.” Sehun nods his head, understanding something for once today.

“Can Myeonnie help Sehunnie find my mommy? Sehunnie can’t find Mommy.” Junmyeon agrees to helping the smaller boy and grabs Sehun’s hand with his own slightly larger hand, letting himself be dragged around by the four-year-old. They fail to make it far on their quest before Sehun hears his father calling for him again. He turns around and sees the man marching towards him, wearing a worried expression on his face with a mix of anger. Sehun gulps, knowing that he will be in a lot of trouble. He is forced to let go of Junmyeon’s hand when he is suddenly hoisted up by his father – though he did put up a fight before inevitably losing to his much stronger father. “Daddy, Sehunnie wants to find Mommy with Myeonnie,” he says with a pout. He sees something change in his father’s face but has no clue as to what expression his father had twisted into. He hates not knowing. “Daddy, what face are you making?” he whines. His father turns to Junmyeon and asks if it would be alright if he talks to Sehun first before returning him to the older boy. His friend seems hesitant at first but eventually nods and tells Sehun that he will be with his family. Sehun says that he will see him later and they will continue their search for his mother later.

Once Junmyeon is out of earshot, Sehun’s father lets him down and crouches in front of him, placing his hands on his son’s shoulders. Sehun tilts his head in confusion because he knows that when his father does this, it’s to tell him something important, or so his mommy says. Where is his mommy? He wants to find her quick and play with her to reduce the sadness that this place was emitting. “Sehun, from now on, you can’t find Mommy anymore, okay?” his father tells him slowly.

“Why, Daddy? Where’s Mommy? Sehunnie wants to play with Mommy.”

“I know, sweetie, but you can’t. Mommy is –“ His father pauses as he struggles with picking the right words to make sure that his son finally understands the situation. “Mommy went to a faraway place, Sehunnie. She can’t come back to us.” Hearing those words, it dawns upon Sehun the reason why Junmyeon was here. He realizes that that “someone” his friend mentioned who had passed away was his very own mother. He feels tears welling up in his eyes, refusing to accept what his father had told him.

“B- But Mommy said she would stay with Sehunnie forever,” he stutters. “Mommy promised Sehunnie. Daddy’s lying. Mommy said it’s wrong to lie, Daddy. Why is Daddy lying to Sehunnie?”

“I’m not, sweetheart,” his father says with the gentlest tone. “I’m sorry.” He feels pain in his chest as the tears that he held back eventually spill from his eyes. He shrugs his father’s hands off his shoulders and runs. He runs and runs all the while letting small hiccups escape his lips, tears streaming down his face. He stumbles backwards and falls down when he bumps into someone, crying even harder now from the added pain.

“Sehunnie, I’m so sorry,” he registers the voice talking to him as his friend’s and cracks his eyes open, relentless sobs spilling from his mouth. He pulls Junmyeon down with him to hug him, holding the boy close as he cries as hard as he can.

“Myeonnie,” he weeps, clutching onto Junmyeon like he holds his stuffed chick. “Daddy said that Mommy went somewhere far away. Does that mean that Mommy passed away? Daddy said that Sehunnie can’t see Mommy anymore.” He feels his friend freeze under his touch and that is enough to confirm his suspicions. He buries his face in the crook of Junmyeon’s neck and lets himself cry to his heart’s content. Junmyeon’s hands make their way to his back as the older boy gives gentle reassuring pats.

“I’m sorry, Sehunnie,” the taller boy whispers to him.

“W- Why is Myeonnie apologizing to Sehunnie?” he hiccups. “D- Did Myeonnie do something wrong to Sehunnie?”

“No, but my mommy said that we need to say that when talking to people that have friends or family that have passed away.” Hearing Junmyeon mention his own mother makes him burst into a second round of immense sobs. Junmyeon holds him close to his chest and moves his hand up to stroke his hair instead. “Don’t cry, Sehunnie. Myeonnie will always be here for you. Myeonnie will protect you from anything bad.” Sehun’s sniffling dies down a little but he presses his face more into the space under Junmyeon’s chin.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Then, Sehunnie promises to protect Myeonnie, too.” Junmyeon smiles.

“Okay.”

“Kim Jongin, you motherfucker!” Sehun screams at the top of his lungs, startling Junmyeon who was sat in the living room with a book in his hands. He hears clattering coming from Sehun’s room before a high-pitched screech – one that he assumes originated from Jongin – could be heard, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps. He looks up from his book just in time to catch a tan boy running down the hallway and into the living room, pouncing onto the couch that Junmyeon was currently sat on. He winces when the boy moves closer to him to snatch a nearby cushion as an attempt to defend himself. Really, they’re both seventeen years old this year, and yet they run around the house like they’re ten. He sees the boy’s eyes widen in the direction of the hallway and Junmyeon follows his line of view. There he spots Sehun with a pissed off expression etched on his face, but it’s not his anger that catches Junmyeon’s attention. No, it’s the bright orange head of hair that makes his eyes grow wide. He slaps a hand onto his mouth to cover the growing smile on his face, laughter building up inside of him.

“What happened to your hair?” he gasps after managing to get ahold of the giggle bubbling within him, though one does manage to slip when Sehun’s bangs fall into his face, making him look like an angry orange puppy that does not in any way look scary – though Jongin does seem to think otherwise with the way he shrinks next to Junmyeon.

“Junmyeon, this isn’t funny,” he whines, slumping his shoulders to show that he is indeed upset with the reaction that he got. Junmyeon puts his book down and lets another giggle escape his lips, gesturing for him to come over. Jongin protests beside him, telling him to get that demon away from him. Sehun glares at him and looks like he’s about to make an advance towards the other but complies with Junmyeon’s request to sit next to him. Once Sehun has taken his place next to his friend for more than a decade and has rest his head on Junmyeon’s shoulder, the older runs his fingers through the orange locks just the way that he knows the boy likes. He marvels in the way that the boy’s hair is still so soft despite the multiple times he had dyed his hair during every school break. True to what he knows, Sehun purrs at the gentle massage that he gets.

“Seriously, what happened to your hair?” he asks again, this time with a smile playing on his lips instead of a laugh that threatens to leave his mouth. The boy grunts without opening his eyes. “Your bastard of a cousin put hair dye in my shampoo and now I’m stuck with this fucking ugly hair,” he grumbles, a string of curses following his explanation.

“It’s not that bad,” Jongin says, trying to salvage his chances of living by showering his friend with a poor attempt at a compliment. Sehun lifts his head from Junmyeon’s shoulder, making the older boy stop his ministrations, and glowers at him.

“I look like a tangerine, you asshat,” he deadpans.

“But Hunnie, I don’t see anything wrong with looking like a tangerine-”

“Say that again, I fucking dare you.”

“-since they’re quite, _delectable._ ” Jongin wags his eyebrows to add more fuel to the flame and that’s enough to get Sehun on his feet. The orange haired boy pins down both of Jongin’s arms above his head with one hand and uses his other hand to tickle his friend mercilessly. Jongin bursts into a fit of giggles and gasps for air, begging for Sehun to spare him from the torturous one-sided tickle fight.

“Please, my Lord!” Jongin cries out. “Spare this poor soul! Please!” Tears trickle down his cheeks from laughing too hard. Sehun takes a step back from the panting boy underneath and gives a nod, satisfied with his work.

“You are excused,” he says, releasing Jongin from his strong grip. Upon seeing the opening to escape, Jongin springs to his feet and pecks Sehun on the cheek before dashing out of the house to head to Junmyeon’s. The boy whines yet again before plopping himself next to Junmyeon who had picked up his book again to continue his reading. He then flops onto his friend’s lap, Junmyeon not flinching even once since he had years to get used to the sudden added weight on him. “Jun,” he calls out for his friend in which Junmyeon only hums in response. He tries again and again to get Junmyeon’s full attention but fails every time due to the older boy being too engrossed in his reading. Sehun plucks the book from Junmyeon’s hands and it’s his turn to whine at the younger.

“Sehun, give it back,” he instructs with his eyebrows furrowed. Sehun looks up at him from his lap with a soft smile dancing on his lips. Junmyeon can feel heat creeping up his face at the attention given to him and he prays that it’s not as red as how he thinks it will be – his pale skin does make it easier for him to flush red. “Myeonnie…” Sehun calls out for his friend again. This time, Junmyeon rolls his eyes. He knows that his decade long friend will only call him that nickname when he needs something from the older.

“What do you want- “

“I love you.” Junmyeon’s heart stops momentarily before it’s beating so fast that it feels like his heart is a contender in a racing match. They say it often to each other, more so these days now that Sehun’s father is paying lesser and lesser attention to him – and because Junmyeon just loves to hear it – but to hear it from his (very hot) friend who’s on his lap and looking at him like he’s his whole world (and for it to be so sudden), it does things to his fragile heart. If his face wasn’t red before, he’s sure now that his face would be glowing a pretty shade of red that matches a freshly waxed and shined apple.

“And I love you,” he whispers back, loving the way Sehun’s own face flushes at the gaze that Junmyeon gives him. He turns his face to bury it into Junmyeon’s abdomen that’s covered by one of his many fluffy sweaters – today he had chosen to wear a lilac sweater that somehow matches the orange of Sehun’s hair. “By the way, your hair does look amazing.” Sehun groans into the sweater.

“You’re just saying things now, Jun,” he mutters.

“I’m not! You just look hot in anything and with any hair color or hairstyle. It’s unfair.” Sehun scoffs at that.

“You’re one to talk. I bet you’d look good blond. Hell, I think you’d probably look hot if you colored your hair red.” Both of them blush furiously at Sehun’s words but they pretend like what was said was something normal for them, when in reality they both know that it definitely was not and something had shifted between them since that day. If anyone notices Sehun choosing to keep his orange hair, they make no comment on it. Junmyeon’s wardrobe starts to fill up with more lilac and orange pieces of clothing and it surely does not go unnoticed by Jongin, but his cousin has mercy on him and looks the other way. They both know that there’s something hanging between them – it’s more noticeable when they unintentionally flirt with each other – but they refuse to speak about it, both fearing for the loss of their friendship that they had built for more than a decade. Life goes on and they continue with their own worlds, not letting these two worlds collide but knowing that at the end of the day, they would be each other’s entire world.

The first time they accidentally let their worlds collide happens four years after the shift between them began. Sehun had brought back his project partner for one of his classes and Junmyeon just happened to be in his and Jongin’s shared apartment at that time. Yixing is one of the international students at Sehun’s university yet his Korean was so fluent that he could pass off as a Korean himself – though he did have his stuttering moments, like that one time he mispronounced Jurassic Park. He is also known in their department as the sweet senior with the most adorable smile that carves an even cuter dimple into his cheek. It’s not a surprise that he and Junmyeon had hit it off immediately, them being the same age playing a huge part as well. Sehun had ended up scrolling through his phone for almost half an hour that day before he shooed Junmyeon away, promising to take him out to dinner to compensate kicking him out of the apartment. Yixing managed to slip his number to Junmyeon, who accepted it with a bright blush coloring his cheeks, saying that they should hang out soon to talk more. Sehun had felt something curling in his stomach that day but had opted on ignoring it.

Now with Junmyeon and Yixing having their lips attached to each other – right in front of his salad! (quite literally) – he feels it again, that curling in the pit of his stomach that makes him feel like emptying his insides of everything that he had eaten before, the salad included. “Gross,” he comments lightheartedly. “Some people are trying to eat without puking here.” Junmyeon flips him off before pulling away from Yixing, planting another kiss on his lips before turning to his friend sitting opposite him in the cafeteria. Sehun fakes a gag, enjoying the way Junmyeon rolls his eyes at him. “Don’t listen to him, Myeon,” Yixing says, throwing an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder. “He’s just jealous that he doesn’t have you all to himself anymore.” Sehun feels his blood boil at that. It’s true that he does feel a little neglected these days, but he’s more than happy to be alone if it meant Junmyeon had a huge stupid ugly smile on his face. Ever since Junmyeon had started dating Yixing, however, Sehun has seen another side of the senior that he wished others could see, because it irks him so much whenever students around him praise the man like he had solved world hunger or anything of that sort.

Some might call it paranoia while others would call it jealousy, and both may be true, but Sehun calls it as seeing someone in a new light. He sees the way Yixing would steal Junmyeon from him every time they’re both in the library to spend some time together since they rarely have time to do outings, and when they do, he invites himself to these outings and drags Junmyeon away from Sehun to go on a date, leaving him all alone to explore whatever it is that he and his friend had planned on exploring together. He notices the smirk that Yixing has whenever he kisses Junmyeon deeply in front of him as though mocking him, and it makes anger seep through his body because what the hell, man? Those unnecessary side comments that he makes like the one he made just a second ago doesn’t help with his annoyance towards the senior. All in all, Sehun just hates him. Hates him with all of his guts. “Fuck off, Yixing,” he bites back. Junmyeon gasps dramatically and puts his hands over his boyfriend’s ears, glaring playfully in Sehun’s direction. To him, this “banter” that Sehun and Yixing have is purely friendly, not knowing that they both actually – and very openly – loathe each other.

“Don’t listen to what he’s saying, XingXing,” Junmyeon coos when his boyfriend pouts. Sehun scoffs and rolls his eyes in annoyance.

“Please, he said that because he feels like I’m a threat. Isn’t that right, our most beloved senior?”

“Sehun,” Junmyeon says with a warning tone. Sehun sighs and stuffs a salad leaf into his mouth, packing up the remainder of his lunch before shoving it into his backpack. “Where are you going?” his friend asks him while pulling out a wet tissue to wipe Yixing’s messy fingers.

“Class,” he replies gruffly, swallowing his food once he has his backpack slung over one shoulder. Junmyeon tilts his head to the side in confusion.

“But your class doesn’t start in an hour.”

“Yeah, but I promised Chan that I’d meet up with him first,” he lies. Oh, well. He can just call up Chanyeol to ask him to walk to class together (and maybe talk shit about Yixing if he’s down for it today). If his friend has other plans, then he can just head to class early and catch up on his reading. Anything but being there with his best friend and his asshole of a boyfriend. Hell, he’d probably rather spend his time trying to help Jongin with his crush on that culinary student who always glares at people (Kyungsoo, was it?) and God knows what kind of mess _that_ is. He waves goodbye to Junmyeon – and Junmyeon alone – and sets off to wherever it is that his feet will take him, as long as it’s far away from that jerk.

He ends up in the music room with Chanyeol after he rang up his friend after a couple of minutes of wandering down the halls. His tall friend is perched by the piano bench with an acoustic guitar in his hands, fingers strumming a melody that Sehun assumes he had just conjured up at that moment. Sehun often times wonder why would Chanyeol major in business when it’s clear as daylight that his passion lies elsewhere. He can tell with the way his friend focuses on the music that he produces, from the way he explains his process, even from the proud glint that appears in his eyes whenever their school agrees on letting him play for special events; but every time the topic of his choice in major is brought up, he always manages to swerve from the subject completely. Sehun thinks that it’s a secret talent of his but it also worries him at times when he notices the lack of spark in Chanyeol’s eyes whenever they both – with the addition of Jongin – have their study sessions in the library. He tries not to pry into his friend’s business that much, but he does wish that the tall man would trust him enough to talk to him about his worries.

“Chan,” he calls out for his friend in which he gets a hum as a response. “You know that you can tell me anything, right?” Hearing that, Chanyeol stops his strumming and looks up from his guitar. He arches an eyebrow but softens his gaze when he sees the smile on Sehun’s face. He returns it with his own dimpled smile.

“I know,” he says, placing his guitar at the foot of the black upright piano. He crosses his arms over his chest and Sehun knows that he has failed once again at trying to get his friend to talk. “What about you? I know you didn’t come to see me less than an hour before your class just because you missed me.”

“I did miss you,” Sehun whines. Chanyeol picks up a music sheet that’s been crumpled up into a ball and chucks it in Sehun’s direction, the younger man catching it just in time.

“Liar,” he grins. “Is it Yixing?” Sehun groans at the mention of the senior’s name. His head meets the wall next to the piano and it releases a small thud, making Chanyeol wince at the sound.

“Don’t mention the devil. I just got away from him before he started eating up Myeonnie again.” Chanyeol laughs, evidently enjoying his friend’s misery. He gets up to grab his backpack from the ground, patting Sehun’s shoulder before giving it a light squeeze.

“There, there, Sehun. It’s natural to feel the need to punch the guy dating the love of your life.”

“Yeol, come on,” Sehun downright whines. “You know damn well that Junmyeon is just my best friend.” Chanyeol hums, incredulity clear in his voice. “Plus, there’s something shady about that guy, I just know it. He’s too… _fake._ ” His tall friend nods his head, not quite listening to his daily ramble on how evil Yixing actually is. He makes his way to the door, Sehun trailing not too far behind him.

“Alright, Sherlock Holmes, that’s enough deductions for today. Want to go pick up Jongin before we head to class?” Sehun scrunches up his nose in distaste.

“Don’t say it like that, you’re making it seem like he’s our kid.”

“With how much we baby him, don’t you think it’s actually appropriate?” Sehun pauses before shrugging his shoulder in agreement.

“Touché. Come on, let’s go get the man-child.” Chanyeol scoffs.

“Says the man-child,” he mutters under his breath, fastening his pace when he hears Sehun threatening to make sure that he’s unable to reproduce if he says it one more time.

Sehun knows, he knows damn well that going to that convenient store barely half a kilometer away from his apartment just to get that one specific tray of mango mochis that he loves so much – at 2 a.m., mind you – is just simply ridiculous and a hassle; but what Sehun craves, Sehun gets. That’s how he finds himself in his pajamas – with a hoodie thrown over his top to cover the bright pink t-shirt that has the words “Down to Fuck(ing Cuddle)” printed on it – with a black plastic bag in his hand as he tries to drown the ear-numbing music that came from the club at the end of the street. He starts walking back in the direction he came from but comes to a halt when he’s about to round the corner, swearing that he sees someone that he recognizes. Sehun pushes his glasses up to rub his eyes, just in case there’s some sleep clinging to his eyes, and blinks rapidly in shock when he comes to the conclusion that he’s not wrong. Just at the start of the alleyway three shops away from the convenient store is Yixing, and he has a guy caged between himself and the wall. Sehun tells himself that it’s not his business and that maybe Yixing was there to fight the person, but just as he’s about to walk away and pretend like he saw nothing, his senior leans in and starts kissing this man. He hears whispers of “I missed you” and “wanted to fuck you so bad” coming from Yixing. Sehun doesn’t know if he wants to cringe away in disgust or to march up to the man and punch him square in the face, because what the fuck. A million thoughts run wild in his head and all of them are of Junmyeon. Does he know about this? Sehun winces at the dumb thought and pushes that ridiculousness down into the deep pits of his minds for another day.

He tears his gaze away from the scene when he sees Yixing grinding on the guy and ravishing his neck like he was a vampire desperate for a taste of blood. He turns in the opposite direction, rather taking the long way home than having to bump into his best friend’s boyfriend who was currently making out with someone else. As he walks back to his apartment, he thinks that yeah, he shouldn’t have gone out to get those mochis – though he does end up eating them all in one go the next day.

If Sehun had looked at Yixing with hatred before, he now has a new addition of emotion to his glare; disgust in its purest form. He wonders how he can even look at Yixing at all without having the urge to puke all over his face. He does avoid the senior more often now, worms his way out of spending time with Junmyeon when his boyfriend is around. He knows that he should do something, _say_ something to Junmyeon, but he has no clue on how to do it without breaking his best friend’s heart into a thousand tiny pieces. He’s aware of how unfair it is for him to avoid Junmyeon’s invitations to hang out with him, often using the excuse of needing to study, but he really doesn’t know how to act around his friend without wanting to tell him what he saw.

Sehun can tell that Junmyeon has had enough when he barges into his apartment unannounced after three weeks of Sehun’s “studying” had started. Sehun hears the front door opening followed by Junmyeon’s voice calling his name and he curses under his breath. “Stupid Jongin giving his cousin the spare keys,” he mutters, climbing out of bed with hesitation. He knows that he’s in for a tough ride when Junmyeon’s mad. He leans against his bedroom door and holds his breath when he hears footsteps approaching his room, pressing his ear against the door to listen to the footsteps that he prays will fade away soon. The sound stops right in front of his room and Junmyeon sighs on the other end.

“I know you’re in there,” he says. “I can see your shadow down there, Oh Sehun.”

“Stupid shadow blowing my cover,” he grumbles, opening the door against his will. He peeks his head through the small opening he had made but gets knocked off his feet when Junmyeon pushes it wide open, letting himself in. “Well, hello to you, too,” he jokes, starting to feel nervous under the gaze that Junmyeon has on him.

“Keep your formalities, Oh,” Junmyeon retorts. “Tell me why exactly are you acting like a child and avoiding me like I’m the fucking plague.”

“It’s not nice to joke about that, Jun, with the number of Covid-19 cases around the world.”

“Sehun,” Junmyeon’s voice is firm. “Is it Yixing? Are you actually hurt that I don’t spend time with you often these days? Do you want me to just ditch him?”

“Would you really?” Sehun asks, void of any emotion. He has his resting bitch face on – something that he rarely does with Junmyeon – but his heart is pounding against his ribcage so hard that he fears it might leap out of his chest at any moment. Junmyeon’s face morphs into one of disappointment and all that Sehun can think is _oh shit_.

“Is that it? Because of Yixing?” Sehun knows there’s no use in him lying, because Junmyeon can tell in a heartbeat that he has a façade on, so he slowly nods. “Why do you hate him so much? You used to speak the world of him when you were doing that project with him, then you just started hating him out of nowhere.”

“It’s not out of nowhere-“ Sehun sighs, only to be interrupted by Junmyeon’s own exasperated sigh.

“Then what is it? I can’t understand if you don’t tell me!”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Junmyeon, he’s cheating on you!” Sehun half-shouts, stunning his best friend in the process. “He’s cheating on you and I didn’t fucking know how to break it to you without breaking your heart. I couldn’t look at you because I wanted to tell you about it _so badly_ but I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to lay it down to you. I didn’t want to fucking hurt you, Jun.” Junmyeon shakes his head vigorously, refusing to believe the words coming out of Sehun’s mouth.

“You’re lying,” he denies Sehun’s statement. “You’re lying, Yixing wouldn’t do that. It’s because I’m not hanging out with you, isn’t it?”

“You know damn well that’s not what this is.”

“Do I? Do I really?” Junmyeon stares back at him with fear dancing behind those big round eyes that Sehun loves to look at and get lost in. Sehun sighs in exasperation.

“You know what? Fine. I’m glad that you see that you have been ignoring me for _months_ now. You’re always with that asshole but he made you happy, so happy, Jun. I put up with the bullshit that he throws at me because I want you to be happy, but not anymore. This is where I put my foot down.” Junmyeon’s nose is flaring with rage now and Sehun thinks that he should feel fear – he’s faced Junmyeon’s wrath before and it has never been pretty. Instead, he challenges that anger with one of his own because he really has had enough with the way that Yixing treats his best friend.

“Who are you to meddle with my life?” Junmyeon snarls. Sehun is taken aback by that, a pang in his chest from the venom in his friend’s words.

“Gee, Junmyeon, I don’t know,” he retorts, sarcasm lacing his words. He has a feeling that this will end up bad for the both of them, but his anger always gets the best of him. “I wonder why I even fucking bother since I’m no one to you, right? I mean _nothing_ to you, that’s why you don’t trust me. I’m just another one of your many friends that you have. What even is a best friend, am I right? Who even has that these days? That’s just a load of bullshit.” They both have tears welling up in their eyes, chests heaving from all of the anger that’s bottled up within them. Junmyeon is the first one to break, the tears he held back spilling down his cheeks.

“Fuck you, Sehun,” he chokes out, bolting out of the room. Sehun replays the conversation that they had in his head multiple times and he finally sinks to the ground when he realizes that he may have just lost his life-long best friend. The thought itself is enough for him to break down in tears.

Sehun misses him. He misses his best friend so badly. It’s been a month since their fight and Sehun is in that stage where he misses Junmyeon so much that he can’t think straight. He wants to hear his voice, wants to hear his stupid jokes and that ridiculously endearing laugh that he has when everyone groans at how horrid his joke is, he wants to tease Junmyeon and his never-ending supply of sweaters that Sehun swears would look horrible on other people but just looks so good on the shorter man. He misses that twinkle in Junmyeon’s eyes every time he talks about his interests and the enthusiasm that shines in those same brown eyes. He realizes how much impact Junmyeon has on him with the distance that’s been put between them, and maybe he admits to the “love of his life” thing that Chanyeol had endlessly teased him about. Sehun understands that he may have chosen the wrong words, said the wrong things – they were both in the wrong – and he knows that he should give Junmyeon as much space to (hopefully) come around and see things from his perspective; but he just needs his best friend to be in his life, to acknowledge his presence. He needs reassurance from Junmyeon that he _is_ important to the older man and all that Sehun had said was a whole bunch of nonsense wrapped in anger. He fears that the silence that they have right now really is the end of their friendship. So, he shoves it all down his throat and prays for the best also preparing for the worst.

Sehun’s sprawled out on his bed with papers surrounding him, a makeshift bedsheet of some sort, when Chanyeol finally asks the question that’s been bugging him for weeks now. “So,” he starts slow, lying on his stomach on the floor adjacent to Sehun’s bed. “How’s Junmyeon?” Sehun freezes. “I haven’t heard about him from you in weeks now. How’s he doing with the devil?” Sehun merely shrugs before going back to his papers.

“How am I supposed to know?” he mumbles under his breath. “I haven’t talked to him in a month.”

“What?!” Chanyeol exclaims, bolting up into a sitting position. He shoves some of the papers to the ground despite Sehun’s protests and scrambles onto the bed, kneeling in front of his friend. “What do you mean you haven’t talked to him in a month?”

“That’s exactly what it means, Chan,” Sehun snaps, slamming the papers he was holding onto the bed. “There’s no other secret meaning, no hidden agenda or some shit, I just haven’t talked to him in a month. Is it that much of a surprise?”

“Well, yeah. You can’t blame me for being shocked because you’re so smitten for him. You literally have heart eyes whenever he’s around, how can I not be surprised?”

“Big shocker, Chan, _I’m_ the only one who has heart eyes for him and it _doesn’t_ work the other way around. He only has eyes for that fucking asshole who fucking cheated on him and that bumbling idiot won’t believe me. It’s so God damn frustrating to see the love of your life being in love with someone that doesn’t see his worth.” He’s panting now, just like when he was with Junmyeon on the day of their fight. He feels his throat clogging up, his mouth going dry from the sudden urge to cry. Chanyeol’s big eyes grow even wider and Sehun wonders if they would bulge out from their sockets at any moment now.

“Holy fuck, you just admitted. Shit, man, I’m so sorry about that.” It takes a moment for Sehun’s words to finally sink into his mind and he gasps so loud that it startles Sehun. “That fucker is cheating on Junmyeon?! What the fuck is wrong with him?!”

“I don’t know, man. I want to snap his spine in half so bad or maybe kick him so hard in the nuts that he’d be seeing stars until tomorrow, but then I’d get in trouble and I’ll never hear the end of it from my dad.” Frustrated, he flops onto his back with a stack of papers lying on his chest and closes his eyes. He feels the bed dipping and suddenly there’s a huge body pressed up into his side, curled up into a ball. Sehun cracks one eye open and sees Chanyeol next to him with his hands pillowing his head. He snorts at how ridiculously small his friend looks before scooting over to make more space for his giant friend. They remain in comfortable silence for a moment, the soft ticking that came from the wall clock accompanied by their steady breathing being the only sounds that could be heard in the dead of night.

“So,” Chanyeol says, breaking the stillness of the room. Sehun groans at the lack of quietness. “What’re you going to do about it?”

“About what?” Sehun asks back, arm moving to cover his already closed eyes.

“Yixing. What’re you going to do about him and Junmyeon?”

“There’s nothing _to do_ , Yeol. Plus, Junmyeon’s a big boy now, he can make his own choices. His choice just so happens to be not me.” His voice cracks at the end as he tries so hard to push down the lump in his throat that’s desperate to leave him. When he feels two arms enveloping his upper body, he loses to the desperation and lets all of his sorrow flow down his cheeks in the form of tears, his body trembling from the sobs that leave his mouth. Chanyeol offers him comforting words and soothing rubs on his back as he cries his eyes out that night.

It takes another passing month for Sehun to decide that enough is enough. He wants to see Junmyeon so much but the man refuses to answer his calls or texts. Sehun’s determined, however, and that’s how he finds himself standing in the lobby of Junmyeon’s apartment complex. He shifts nervously from one foot to the other, his fingers playing with the straps of his backpack as a way to distract himself. He had texted Junmyeon that he was coming over and refused to check to see if the message was replied to or not, scared that he might be pushed away again. He’s glad that he has known Junmyeon for a long time because he is sure that his friend won’t be able to send him away, aware that Sehun’s apartment is far away from Junmyeon’s.

“Sehun?” He shuts his eyes and sighs inwardly at the recognition of the voice that had just called out his name. Turning around, he forces a smile onto his face and fakes his excitement.

“Yixing, hey!” he greets the other, arms falling down to his sides. “Long time no see! How’ve you been?”

“You’re running back to him _again_?” Yixing scoffs. “Just when I thought we got rid of you.” The smile slips of Sehun’s face and an irritated look is quick to take its place.

“Oh, so you’re not putting up that front anymore?” He cocks his head to the side. “What a shame, I didn’t bring my recorder with me.” Yixing laughs and Sehun thinks it’s the most disgusting thing that he’s ever heard in his life.

“What, like you didn’t bring your recorder when you caught me cheating?” The crease in between Sehun’s eyebrows deepens as he clenches his fists by his sides. He’s trying so hard not to punch the man in front of him but with every word that comes out of his mouth, it’s almost as if he’s begging for it. “Really, Sehunnie? Telling on me? How fucking mature.”

“Well, what was I supposed to do then? Watch my best friend live a lie thinking that you love him?”

“Oh, but he’s already living that life, isn’t he? Your oh so amazing plan backfired and now you lost him. You don’t have him anymore and that’s just… _sad._ ” Sehun grits his teeth, digging crescents into his palms with how hard he’s clenching his fists now.

“Junmyeon isn’t a _thing_ that you can play around with, he’s isn’t something that you _own._ He’s his own fucking person and I didn’t lose him. I promised him that I would protect him and he promised me.” Yixing has the audacity to scoff in his face after making such a horrendous confession and it just stirs Sehun on even more.

“It’s been years already, Sehun. Do you really think that he’d still treasure that stupid promise of yours? Get it in your head, Oh Sehun. He doesn’t need you.” Sehun hates how those words affect him, makes him feel like breaking the dam that holds back his tears. He hates that it eats at his fears, feeding off of it and fueling that small nagging voice in the back of his head. He wants to give up because what Yixing says has its truths. It _has_ been years since they made that promise and maybe it is just him that’s hanging onto that childhood friendship that he treasures so dearly. He ponders on whether it would be a good idea to let Junmyeon go, let him live his life without Sehun dragging him down with all of the problems that he has caused the older man. He questions if him sticking around would be the best for his friend and that maybe he should just move on. He can see from the corner of his eye the smirk that starts to grow on Yixing’s face, carving a dimple into his cheek, and he wants nothing more than to sock him in the face.

He lifts his closed fist and is about to punch him square in the face when he sees a familiarly small man marching up to them. He lowers his hand and closes his eyes, ready to get a second round of scolding from Junmyeon. Instead, he hears the sound of skin against skin and it’s awfully similar to the sound of a slap – a good one at that. Slowly, he cracks an eye open and gapes at the sight in front of him. Yixing has a hand on his cheek, shock written all over his face while Junmyeon is standing in front of Sehun, chest heaving heavily. “You bastard,” Junmyeon hisses at Yixing. “Get the fuck away from my best friend and get lost.”

“Baby-“ Yixing starts but gets cut off instantly.

“Don’t you _baby_ me. I heard every single disgusting thing that came out of your mouth, you fucking bastard. I don’t want to see you anymore and I don’t want you near Sehun.”

“Junmyeon, please-“

“Get the fuck out. That slap was just one fifth of my strength so don’t you fucking test me. Get out or I’m calling security to hold me back from beating the shit out of you.” Sehun watches as Yixing tries to argue some more but is instantly shot down with a single menacing glare from Junmyeon. The Chinese man turns and scampers off, tail between his legs after such a scene was caused. Junmyeon wastes no time and drags Sehun up to his unit, apologizing to the people in the lobby before they enter the lift together. The ride to Junmyeon’s home is silent and there’s this unknown tension that makes Sehun want to curl up in a ball and cower away. He wants to say something, _anything,_ but thinks that it’s best if he remains quiet for now.

They reach Junmyeon’s floor and Sehun is once again dragged by the smaller man. He intently watches the stoic expression on his friend’s face that flinches every time he gets the passcode to his unit wrong, soft curses escaping his mouth. Once the door finally opens, Junmyeon pulls Sehun in by the wrist and frantically starts examining his body for injuries the second that the door closes behind them. He then gingerly cradles Sehun’s face with his hands, searching for any bruises that he might have missed earlier. “Are you okay, Sehunnie? Did he hurt you anywhere?” he asks, concern evident in his voice as his eyes dart all over Sehun’s face. The younger man softens at the attention given to him. He places his hand atop one of Junmyeon’s hands and leans into the touch, eyes fluttering shut at the security that he feels. Warmth, happiness, _love._ Sehun feels all of that once more now that he has Junmyeon so close to him.

“I missed you,” the words leave his mouth before he has the chance to filter them in his mind. “I missed you, Myeonnie.” He senses the shock that Junmyeon feels when the hand underneath his freezes. He opens his eyes and sees that the older man has his gaze focused on the wooden panels beneath them. He then starts shaking uncontrollably, choked sobs spilling from his mouth. “Myeonnie…” Sehun pulls his best friend into a hug and holds him close, gently caressing the soft dark locks that he had missed so dearly. Junmyeon clings onto his shirt as he buries his face in the crook of Sehun’s neck.

“I’m so sorry, Sehunnie,” he sobs. “I got your text and I wanted to go downstairs to get you myself. Then I heard what you two said and I- I’m so sorry for doubting you, Sehun. I’m sorry, Sehunnie.” Junmyeon keeps on crying out apologies to Sehun and the younger one is very patient, telling the smaller man that it’s fine, it’s all in the past now. _I have you in my arms and that’s all that matters,_ is what Sehun wants to add, but he figures that those words aren’t exactly fit for the situation.

They end up cuddling on the couch – like they always do after one of them has an emotional moment – with the television turned on, a movie playing in the background while they both bask in the other’s presence. They both feel content and it feels like coming home after an exhausting day out, and Sehun has never been happier.

Sehun is going to strangle Junmyeon one of these days, he’s sure of it. He thinks that after they had reconciled a week ago, things would go back to the way that they were before Yixing entered their lives; but no. Junmyeon isn’t ignoring him, but he definitely is avoiding him. He turns down every offer to hang out that Sehun has made for the past week. Sehun knows that Junmyeon is avoiding him when he uses the excuse to help his friend Jongdae in the library near his place but only sees the man with a cat-like smile there when he visits the library. The man who indeed is Junmyeon’s friend, Jongdae, says that he hadn’t seen Junmyeon all day. At first, he was worried that Junmyeon would be secretly meeting up with Yixing again behind his back, but when he had mentioned the name to Jongdae, the man’s face immediately scrunched up into one of distaste. “He’s tried talking to Junmyeon after school ends but Jun is quick to turn him down or just glares at him,” he explains. Sehun thanks the man and heads out of the library, wondering why would Junmyeon be avoiding him.

He finally manages to catch the man alone after Junmyeon’s last class of the week. He may or may not have ditched one of his favorite classes to do this, but he wants to know why Junmyeon won’t meet up with him. Junmyeon is the last one to leave the class and it’s clear that his presence is a surprise when the older man jumps the moment that he lays eyes on Sehun. “Sehunnie, you scared the fuck out of me,” Junmyeon gasps, placing a hand over the space where his heart is to calm its erratic beating. Sehun offers a smile as an apology before striding up to Junmyeon, wrapping his arms around one of Junmyeon’s as a way of preventing the older man from escaping – that and Sehun is just naturally clingy when it comes to his best friend. “What are you doing here?” Junmyeon asks, starting to walk. “I thought you have a class right now.” Sehun slows down his pacing to match Junmyeon’s, moving one of his hands down to the crook of the man’s elbow.

“It got cancelled,” he lies through his teeth. “I thought I’d come here and see you.” Junmyeon looks up at him with a tender look on his face that never fails to make Sehun feel all mushy inside. He feels his heart slamming against his ribcage from missing the affection that Junmyeon always showered him with. Call him selfish but he wants this all to himself, wants to have all of this man’s love just for him. He refuses to share this precious human being that has been by his side for years and he prays that there will be more years to come; but at the same time, Sehun wants to flaunt him to others. He wants to show off Junmyeon to others and let them know just how beautiful a soul can get and it just so happens to be that it comes in the form of one Kim Junmyeon. He knows that Junmyeon has his flaws but so does everyone else, that’s what makes them human.

“You’re a beautiful soul, Kim Junmyeon,” he whispers more towards himself but it reaches the ear of the shorter man. They come to a sudden halt, pulling Sehun back to reality and he notices that they’re already outside the gates of the university. Junmyeon’s arm is frozen under his touch and he has his eyes focused on his navy-blue Chuck Taylors instead of the gorgeous bursts of pink and yellow that resulted from the change of season. Sehun decides there and then that spring looks good on Junmyeon.

“I’m not a beautiful soul, Sehunnie,” he murmurs. He then looks up to catch Sehun’s eyes. “If anything, it’s you who’s the beautiful soul. You’re so pure that I just- I didn’t- I _don’t_ want to taint you, Sehunnie. I don’t deserve to be by your side because I broke our promise. I didn’t believe what you said and you got hurt.” Sehun pulls away from Junmyeon and he sees the man visibly flinch from the loss of contact.

“Jun, is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” he asks. There’s a pause before the answer comes in the form of a hesitant nod. The younger man sighs and carefully grips his friend’s shoulders. “You’re so selfless yet so stupid.” There’s a noise of protest coming from the smaller man but Sehun pays no heed to it. “Did you know you’re still breaking our promise? You promised that you won’t leave me, remember?” Junmyeon remains quiet but averts his eyes from Sehun’s intense gaze.

“If- If you don’t want to hang out with me anymore or if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore, just say it,” he struggles to get the words out with the growing lump in his throat. “Just- tell me, Jun.”

“I don’t want to stop being friends with you. I just-“

“Then stay. Stay with me, Jun. I can’t function properly without you. I can’t eat, I can’t think, I can’t sleep because I’m so worried about you. I want to know if you’re doing fine or if you’re not, I want to know if I can help you or just be a shoulder for you to cry on. I want you to stay with me, Jun. I _need_ you in my life.” Junmyeon trembles under Sehun’s touch and falls against the taller man’s chest, whimpers escaping from his throat. Sehun wraps him up in a warm embrace and lets him cry to his heart’s content.

“I’m scared, Sehunnie,” Junmyeon hiccups. “What if I hurt you?”

“Then I’ll tell you if that happens,” Sehun says, rubbing small circles on Junmyeon’s back. “Myeon, everyone’s bound to get hurt at some point. Nobody wants to intentionally hurt the ones that they love, but sometimes it happens without us noticing. When that happens, it’s a matter of choosing to stay and solve it or to walk away and never look back at the problem. There will be people who will be by our side and bear the pain with us, and I want to be that for you, Jun. You’ve taken care of me all these years. Let me take care of you now.” Junmyeon’s sobbing becomes heavier and Sehun is left to wonder if he had somehow made things worse, but then a small “thank you” comes from the sniffling man in his arms and he thinks that they will be okay. They have each other and they will be fine.

“Honestly, Jun, I don’t get why you want to change your wardrobe so badly,” Sehun says while sprawled on his bed, head hanging from the edge of the mattress. Junmyeon is in his room now along with Jongin and Chanyeol – who even invited those two into his room? – and the small man has his head on his cousin’s lap while Jongin absentmindedly plays with the blond strands of hair. He seems to be fascinated with how soft his cousin’s hair is despite the unholy amount of bleach that they had to use to get this color and the rain that had dampened that head of hair mere minutes after the bleaching was done. Sehun watches in envy as his friend gets to freely run his fingers through Junmyeon’s hair without being questioned about the intimacy. He knows that his friends are aware of how clingy he gets when it comes to Junmyeon, but he’s not willing to show that affection in front of everyone. He prefers to do that in their private moments when they’re both on Junmyeon’s couch watching reruns of Star Wars or laughing at another episode of Running Man. He does things like wrap his arms around Junmyeon’s waist when the smaller man is making breakfast every time he stays the night, or even carries Junmyeon to bed when he accidentally falls asleep on the couch during their movie sessions, tucking the man in his embrace after he’s crawled into bed with him. Junmyeon’s voice reels him back to the present time, his face now red from the memories that he thought of.

“My clothes make me look like a grandpa,” Junmyeon pouts to which Jongin coos. Sehun frowns and it doesn’t slip from Chanyeol’s notice, a smirk climbing up his face. His tall friend catches his eye and mouths _“Jealous?”_ to which he responds with a deeper frown. He clears his throat before turning his attention back to the cousins.

“Your clothes are fine, Jun,” he reassures the man, internally cooing when he juts out his lower lip to form another pout that’s absolutely lethal for Sehun’s heart.

“You think?” Sehun nods. Junmyeon lets out an exasperated sigh and slumps even more in Jongin’s lap. “Still, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to spice up my clothes a bit.”

“Try adding some paprika, I heard that’s some good seasoning right there,” Chanyeol jokes, causing a pillow to be flung in his face. He shrieks and Sehun snickers at the angry expression he wears when he looks at Sehun.

“What do you plan on getting, then?” Jongin asks, curious of his cousin’s newfound taste in clothing. Junmyeon flushes at the question.

“Um, I thought about getting some jackets for starters?” he answers sheepishly.

“Jackets?” Sehun echoes.

“Yeah. I was thinking of maybe some leather jackets or denim jackets, you know? Something that makes it easier for me to blend in.” Sehun sits up after he starts to feel lightheaded from hanging his head over the edge of the mattress for too long. He blinks the stars away, trying to focus on Junmyeon by squinting his eyes. He hears Junmyeon giggling first before he actually sees it and blushes furiously at the sound.

“Why would you want to blend in?” he inquires. Junmyeon shrugs as a short answer.

“Just feel like it. I feel like I draw too much attention with my grandpa sweaters and sweater vests.” Sehun bites the inside of his cheeks, fighting the urge to argue that Junmyeon actually looks adorable with his sweaters. Hell, Sehun even thinks that he looks hot whenever he wears his sweater vests. He remembers there was this one time he had on a sweater vest with small sheep knitted into the design and Sehun thinks it’s the most horrid thing he’s ever laid eyes on; but Junmyeon managed to pull it off with a white satin shirt complementing it. He recalls gaping when the smaller man had looked up from his phone through his clubmaster glasses, his black hair pushed back so beautifully that it knocked the breath out of Sehun.

“Okay,” he finally says. “I know this one place that sells jackets. Pretty sure they only sell jackets there but that place is good. I’ll take you there.” Junmyeon’s eyes light up as he scrambles to sit upright, staring at Sehun excitedly.

“Really?” Sehun nods.

“Yeah, just set a date and time and we’ll head there.” He knows it’s better for him to just go along with whatever it is that Junmyeon wants rather than fighting him on it. Plus, the image of Junmyeon in a leather jacket has him intrigued. The older man is quick to his feet and is pouncing Sehun the next second, knocking them both onto the bed.

“Thank you, Sehunnie,” he whispers, making a shiver run down Sehun’s spine. The taller of the two breathes out a laugh and tells his friend that it’s no trouble at all. The other two in the room share a knowing look, grinning at each other when Junnmyeon and Sehun end up play-fighting on the bed.

“So,” Jongin starts the next morning, earning himself a groan from a sleep deprived Sehun. “When’s the date?”

“It’s too early for this shit, Nini,” he grumbles. “And it’s not a date, dumbass.”

“It’s almost noon, what are you blabbering about,” Jongin deadpans. Sehun pads over to their refrigerator and pulls out an untouched cup of milk tea from Sehun’s favorite store that Jongin swears wasn’t there before.

“When the fuck-“

“I went out after you did last night and hid it. I figured you’d be a pig and steal my tea.” He blindly rubs the kitchen countertop until he hears a familiar plastic crinkle. He picks up the straw in triumph and tears the seal with his teeth, sinking the sharp tip of the straw into the cup’s plastic cover. He happily sips on the drink and lets out a content sigh once he’s done sipping.

“A caveman if you ask me,” Jongin quips. “Should I really let you date my cousin?” Sehun flips him off as he makes his way to the couch, plopping on it while still drinking his tea. He feels the space next to him dip but he pays no attention to it, letting his mind wander instead.

“Seriously, though,” Jongin’s voice interrupts his daydreaming. “When are you going to confess to him? I mean, Chan and I do get teasing material from you not saying shit, but don’t you want to tell him at some point?” Sehun pulls the straw away from his lips and hums.

“I don’t know, Jong. I’m scared,” he admits. “I almost lost him the other day and I’m scared that I might lose him for real this time. I don’t know if my crush on him is worth losing him.”

“That’s not what really scares you, is it? You and I both know that Junmyeon isn’t that cruel to let you go just because you confessed.”

“…”

“Are you scared of being rejected?”

“… That, and I’m scared that things might be awkward between us after that,” Sehun laughs dryly.

“You’re saying all of these things as though there’s not even a chance that he might like you back,” Jongin observes.

“I’m not wrong now, am I?”

“You are, actually. Very.” Sehun squints his eyes at Jongin.

“How so?”

“Well, I’m his cousin, for one-” Sehun scoffs. “-and as his cousin, I can tell that he might have some feelings for you. He has that one look that he gives you that he never gave to his previous girlfriends or boyfriends. I swear, I would’ve puked if it wasn’t so cute.” Sehun keeps quiet, fingers fidgeting the milk tea’s lid. Eventually, he sighs.

“I don’t know…”

“Just give it a try,” Jongin insists. “If he acts like a dick, then I’ll kick his ass for you.” Sehun laughs at the thought of Jongin trying to fight Junmyeon who might as well be five times stronger despite being smaller in size.

“Fine, I’ll do it.” He gets up from his seat and points at Jongin. “If you get it wrong, I’ll castrate you and feed your balls to the dogs outside.” His friend’s face scrunches up at his words.

“No need to be so vicious, man.” Sehun shrugs before trailing off to his room, ready to start the day.

They go out on their date that’s not a date – but it’s lowkey a date, though – on a Friday right after Sehun’s done with his last class of the day. He walks out of his university and sees Junmyeon waiting for him in his car, preoccupied with his phone. Sehun feels his heart swelling at the sight as he wonders if this is what it would be like if he were to date Junmyeon, having the older man pick him up after classes end to go on cute dates or maybe just to head home and cuddle on the couch. He shakes his head to rid himself of that thought, not wanting to indulge himself in something that might never happen. He knocks on the passenger window, startling the man inside the car. He sidles up into the passenger seat when he hears the door lock clicking, a laugh escaping his lips when Junmyeon grumbles next to him about calling him first and not giving him the fright of his life. After buckling himself up, he reaches over and ruffles Junmyeon’s blond head of hair with the promise of calling beforehand because he doesn’t want his friend to die at a young age.

“I need you, remember?” he teases with a wink. Red creeps up Junmyeon’s neck and colors his pale cheeks. Their faces are impossibly close and Sehun can feel the hot breath coming from the shorter man hitting his face, and it makes him shiver. He’s so near and he could just lean in a little bit more, just a little taste of those strawberry pink lips that have been haunting him the past few months. He looks up at Junmyeon through his eyelashes as his gaze slowly trails down to those pouty lips that unconsciously part under the observation of the taller man. Sehun licks his lips as he tests the water by angling his head to the side slightly, slowly inching closer. He feels Junmyeon’s breath stutter against his face but the other makes no effort to move away, so he takes it as an invitation. He’s brought out of that temporary trance of his when the seatbelt holding him in place jerks, preventing him from completing the kiss. Groaning internally, he pulls back, not noticing the disappointed look that flashes across Junmyeon’s face before it’s quick to disappear. Junmyeon clears his throat and puts his focus back onto the road, placing his hands on the steering wheel.

“So, where’s this place that you told me about?” he asks, his voice oddly hoarse. Sehun mutters out the directions to the shop, slumping in the passenger seat. He shuts his eyes as he wallows in his misery of missing the chance that he might not get again.

Junmyeon looks around the store in awe, taking in the interior of the small building. The place gives off a retro vibe that takes you back all the way to the 80’s and makes you feel like you’re progressing through the decade the deeper you enter the store, reaching the 90’s at the end. Sehun smiles in adoration when he notices that familiar glint in Junmyeon’s eyes that instantly gives away his excitement if it wasn’t for his gaping mouth or the ooh’s and ah’s that leave his mouth. The way he bounces from one corner of the store to the other before hopping to the center attraction reminds Sehun of a bunny. He laughs internally at how adorable the enthusiastic man is with his small tugs at the sleeve of Sehun’s coat, pointing at the pieces of clothing that catch his eye as he wonders to himself if he would look good in them. Sehun would tell him that he looks good in anything and that would result in him getting a smack on his arm, the shorter man saying that his input was in no way helpful. Eventually Junmyeon picks two navy-blue denim jackets – one with huge orange letterings in between the shoulder blades while the other had words printed in yellow on both sides of the jacket front – and a simple leather jacket.

Junmyeon hangs the strap on the paper bag in the crook of his elbow with his hands both buried in the pockets of his white padded coat. Sehun watches him hum a tune happily, feet playing with the crunching snow beneath them. He loves the way the moonlight on this winter night creates a halo that blends perfectly with Junmyeon’s gold locks, causing him to contemplate as to how it is possible for one to look more angelic than they already do. The night is cold and Sehun would shiver from the lack of sufficient clothing in this weather, but Junmyeon seems so adamant on keeping that radiant and warm vibe that it makes him feel all cozy inside. He does, however, chuckle when a particularly huge gust of wind blows in Junmyeon’s face, making his cheeks turn a light shade of pink as he shudders from the cold. He stops himself in front of Junmyeon, a smile decorating his face. He sighs and pulls his hands out of his own pockets, tugging at the white coat’s hood to cover Junmyeon’s head. “If you know that you’re sensitive, why didn’t you bring a scarf with you?” he nags. The shorter man’s cheeks blush even more furiously that he resembles a strawberry mochi. At this point, everything about the man reminds Sehun of a strawberry – he might not be able to see strawberries the same again without seeing Junmyeon in the back of his eyes.

“Why wear a scarf when I have a personal heater here?” Junmyeon quips and Sehun wants to question what he means, but the sudden wrap of arms around his lower body stops him from saying anything. Sehun breathes out a laugh before returning the embrace, pulling the smaller man closer to him.

“That’s so cheesy,” he says with a grin.

“You like it.” Junmyeon rests his head against Sehun’s broad chest and Sehun prays that he doesn’t hear the loud thumping of his heart. They stay like that for a while before pulling away from each other, falling into a comfortable silence. Junmyeon has one of his hands jammed into the pockets again with the other hanging freely next to Sehun’s own hand, occasionally bumping against each other. Heat creeps up Sehun’s face as he fights the itch to reach out and grab that hand in his own. Junmyeon sighs exasperatedly next to him and the next thing he knows, his wish comes true. Sehun looks down at their intertwined hands, marveling over how small Junmyeon’s hand is in his. If it wasn’t for the freezing cold weather, he would have pulled off their gloves so he could really feel Junmyeon’s hand against his. He wonders if it is as soft as it looks like or if it is even softer, maybe as soft as his round cheeks.

“You’re so tiny,” he says in awe. “I just want to put you in my pocket.” Junmyeon turns away and buries his face in his free hand, whining at the way Sehun practically coos at him. He whips his head to glower in Sehun’s direction.

“Don’t call me tiny, I could literally flip you over and snap your arm in half,” he threatens, though it does not look that scary to Sehun since he looks like a bunny trying to pick a fight. Sehun coos even further and lifts his hands to cradle Junmyeon’s head while calling him cute, not letting go of the hand in his grasp.

“I’m not cute,” Junmyeon pouts. Sehun bites his tongue to fight the urge to coo again but still offers a sweet smile to the older man. He drops his hands and in turn swings their locked hands between them, sighing in content. “Hey, Hunnie?” Junmyeon calls out for Sehun, breaking the silence that they were in after a few minutes. Sehun turns to him and sputters, surprised by the new nickname.

“Yeah, Jun?” he replies after he stops his coughing.

“Remember when you were 17 and you said that I’d probably look hot with red hair?” Sehun breaks into a coughing fit once again when he chokes on his saliva, face turning beet red.

“Yeah, what about it?” he asks as he inhales some air to reduce his coughing.

“Did you mean it?”

“I did. Even now I still think that you’d look hot with red hair.” Junmyeon blushes in embarrassment but there’s a smile playing on his lips.

“Okay.”

“So let me get this straight,” Jongin starts, him and Chanyeol sitting on Sehun’s bed while Sehun sits at his study desk – seriously, why do these two always barge into his room and make it like their own? – as they interrogate him. “Jun asked you if you meant that thing that you said when you were 17 where you called him hot if he has red hair-“ A nod from Sehun. “-and you proceed to say that your opinion still stands in present time-“ Another nod. “-and that you don’t find it suspicious that he suddenly decided to color his hair red a couple of days later?” There’s a pause but Sehun nods again. Jongin groans in frustration before plopping onto his back.

Truth be told, if Sehun wasn’t caught off guard by how amazing Junmyeon looked, he would have taken some time to ponder over the sudden change; but when the man had entered the apartment complex last week with his freshly dyed red hair clad in a black turtleneck and an unbuttoned plaid shirt under the leather jacket that he bought recently, a pair of black corduroys and black sneakers to complete the look, his mind went blank. His hair was parted down the middle and most times Sehun would think that he looks soft, resembling a fluffy cloud, but all that Sehun could think of was that Junmyeon looked like sin. He looked drop dead gorgeous and it scared Sehun because he knew that the Junmyeon in front of him was not dressed to the full potential. He had sat on the couch gaping while Chanyeol sauntered over to Junmyeon, exclaiming that they now had matching hair – since the tall man had dyed his hair cotton candy pink a couple of weeks ago. It had taken everything within him to not pounce on the smaller man and devour him whole there and then.

“He obviously dyed it for you, man,” Chanyeol says now. “You should’ve seen the way he kept on looking at you expectantly, but _no_ , you just had to be a shy boy at that moment and avoid eye contact at all costs. I swear, the one time that I want you to ogle him and you won’t even look at him.”

“I don’t _ogle_ him,” Sehun defends himself.

“You look at him like he’s your favorite dessert and I _have_ caught you eyeing his crotch like you’re wondering if his dick tastes like that strawberry lollipop that you always eat,” Jongin deadpans. Chanyeol groans next to him, scrunching up his nose as Sehun turns bright red from the memory.

“Dude, that’s your cousin,” Chanyeol hisses.

“And my best friend happens to be in love with said cousin,” Jongin reminds their tall friend.

“I don’t get why you can’t just confess to him.”

“And I don’t get why you’re so adamant on getting me to tell him about my feelings,” Sehun fights back.

“Because it’s just getting sad at this point, man,” Chanyeol points out. “It feels like I’m playing that damn snake game on an old ass Nokia phone.”

“That game was entertaining, shut the fuck up,” Jongin glares at Chanyeol who shrugs and sticks out his tongue.

“You don’t understand,” Sehun sighs. “It’s just so hard. Every time I want to talk to him about it, my brain short circuits and then my tongue gets all tied up, but then he’s all soft and adorable that it makes me want to keep him in my pocket and I want to kiss him, which I would have been able to do if it wasn’t for that stupid seatbelt-“ He clasps a hand over his mouth when he realizes that he’s told one too many things. Both Jongin and Chanyeol kneel on the bed and it reminds Sehun of the two golden retrievers that he sees on his way to university every day.

“What?!” they both exclaim in unison, making Sehun wince from how loud their voices are.

“You almost kissed him?!” Jongin asks. “When?”

“Last week when we went to buy his jackets,” Sehun mumbles, not a willing participant of this conversation.

“You two almost kissed and you didn’t think to tell us?” Chanyeol questions.

“Because I know you guys are going to be all weird, like you are right now.” Sehun flails his arms, huffing and slumping in his seat. “I got fucking cockblocked by a seatbelt, for fuck’s sake. I’m never wearing a seatbelt ever again in my life.”

“And you didn’t try to kiss him again?” Jongin asks.

“Have you gone mad? That was in the heat of the moment and I’m never going to make any advances again. I’m just going to stay single and live single and die single.”

“Calm down, Mister Dramatic,” Chanyeol rolls his eyes. “What you’re saying is that you’ll only kiss him if you’re “in the heat of the moment”, right?” Sehun nodded before squinting his eyes at the duo that had turned to each other with a knowing smirk on their faces.

“Whatever it is, don’t,” he warns them. Jongin throws his hands up in the air and deems that he is innocent of any evil plotting that may or may not embarrass Sehun in the future. The youngest of the three looks from Jongin to Chanyeol and back to Jongin warily, doubting their honesty but decides to let it slide.

Sehun should have known better than to believe that snake named Kim Jongin. What started as an innocent game of truth or dare with Jongin and Chanyeol in Jongin’s family vacation home escalated very quickly and now he is stuck in a closet with his crush. Does he understand what’s going on? Not at all. Does he regret agreeing on joining the cousins and their friend on a getaway over Christmas break? Maybe he does a little. One thing is for certain, though; he is going to murder both of his friends as soon as he steps foot out of the closed space. This closet has to be by far the smallest closet that he’s ever been locked in and it just had to be with Junmyeon of all people.

He’s sure that the other could hear his heavy breathing, he might even be able to feel the way he fidgets with the sleeve of his sweater. He wishes that he had worn something thinner because the space between them is starting to feel hot – Sehun is not entirely sure if it’s from Junmyeon’s body heat or if it’s him that’s feeling nervous from being so close to Junmyeon – and he is so tempted to rip this itchy sweater off his body. “Guys, how much longer do we have to be in here?” he yells at the door.

“Just another 10 minutes!” he hears a voice that he assumes is Jongin’s reply to his question.

“Where the fuck did the extra 3 minutes come from?”

“From our assholes.” That would definitely be Chanyeol.

“Fuck off. And since when was this game called “How-Many-Minutes-That-Jongin-And-Chanyeol-Want in Heaven” instead of “7 Minutes in Heaven”?”

“Since we’re the ones that created it. Now shut up and start snogging.” Sehun sighs in frustration and he feels like tearing his hair out, but even the slightest movement would have him pressed against Junmyeon.

“Sehunnie,” Junmyeon’s soft voice calls for him. It’s dark in the closet but even in the pitch-black space, Sehun can still make out Junmyeon’s bright eyes staring up at him. The smaller man tugs at the sleeve that he’s been playing with for the past minute or so, his hand sliding down to rest his palm against Sehun’s. It’s an invitation, Sehun notes, to hold his hand, but he’s giving the younger man a chance to back out. Sehun decides to throw that nagging voice out the window and intertwines their fingers together. “Can’t we just… do what they want us to do?” he whispers gently. Sehun is taken aback. That was definitely not the reaction that he was expecting from the other, but then again, his mind was too fried to think of any expectations.

“Do you want to?” Sehun asks with hesitation.

“I do,” Junmyeon replies enthusiastically. “I really do.”

Sehun gasps. He swears that a lot of alarms go off in his head and it’s a mess up there because how on Earth is he supposed to deny him of that simple wish when Junmyeon is staring up at him expectantly with those big doe eyes. Sehun’s heart does a little flip as he tries to grasp the fact that he’s about to kiss Junmyeon, the man that he’s been dreaming to kiss for so long now that it’s become the first thing that he thinks of in the morning. He wants to kiss him so bad and find out if his lips really do taste like strawberries. He wants to kiss him and feel those soft pouty lips pressed against his. He wants to kiss him.

He subconsciously starts leaning in just like how he did in the car, eyes cast down to the inviting lips and back up to those beautiful eyes that he could just stare at forever. “Forever is a long time, Hunnie,” Junmyeon giggles, his breath fanning Sehun’s face. Sehun blinks at him, unaware that he had said that last part out loud. The older trails his hands up Sehun’s arms until they reach his shoulders where he lets them rest there. “But who am I to judge when I’m more than happy to spend forever with you.” Sehun’s breath hitches as he snakes his arms around Junmyeon’s waist and he’s sure that it hits the smaller man’s face from the way he shudders under his touch.

“Are you sure about this?” Sehun asks for reassurance despite their faces being only a couple of inches away from each other.

“Kiss me, Sehunnie,” Junmyeon whispers. “Kiss me like tomorrow doesn’t exist.” Kiss him is what Sehun does. He pulls apart the small gap that they had and crashes his lips with Junmyeon’s and _oh_ , is it so much more than he imagined. He starts with pressing gentle closed mouth kisses on those pretty lips that he had dreamed of for months, keeping the kisses chaste before gradually picking up the intensity. He revels in the way Junmyeon sighs, the little moans that leave his mouth every time Sehun nips at his lower lip, capturing it between his teeth and tugging it in a torturously slow demeanor. Sehun kisses Junmyeon just like how he had asked; like there’s no tomorrow. He licks at the seam of Junmyeon’s lips and the smaller man takes the hint, willingly parts his lips to let Sehun explore his hot cavern. Their tongues tangle and it’s so filthy yet it feels so good that Sehun doesn’t want to let go. He wants more, _needs_ more, more of Junmyeon, more, more, more.

He pulls Junmyeon closer to him and feels something poking his thigh, and suddenly he’s aware of how things might escalate if he doesn’t slow them down now. He brings the kiss down to a calming pace before with much hesitation parts from Junmyeon. Their chests are heaving again, like when they had their intense fight months ago, but now the anger is replaced with smiles on their faces and their hearts are full, so full of each other. Sehun knocks their foreheads together, shutting his eyes as a giggle bubbles within him. “I’ve been wanting to do that for months now,” he admits. He barely catches the way one of Junmyeon’s eyebrows shoot up and disappear in the thick red hair that’s now matted against his forehead – could be from the heat in the closet, could also be from their intense make out session.

“Months?” the man asks, voice laced with interest. Sehun nods numbly, rubbing their foreheads together.

“Months.” He feels Junmyeon’s laugh more than he hears it.

“Me too,” the other admits. Sehun sees that familiar smile that makes Junmyeon’s eyes turn into the most adorable crescents that he has ever laid eyes on. He feels his heart swelling at the confession Junmyeon made. He wasn’t sure if it’s the full confession or if the smaller man just wants to kiss him and do nothing more, but he’s content with this right now. Anything else that isn’t holding Junmyeon close to him can wait. He’s waited before, he can wait a bit more. He gathers Junmyeon in his arms and kisses his eyelids, eliciting giggles from the smaller man.

“You two better be decent because I’m about to open this door,” they hear Jongin say on the other end. Sehun looks down at Junmyeon and gives him a mischievous smirk, the other cocking his head to the side when no explanation is provided. A click from the door signals Sehun to latch his lips onto Junmyeon’s neck as he grabs a handful of the man’s ass, groping it so tightly that the smaller man explicitly moans the moment the door swings open. Jongin screeches and Sehun catches the way he flails his arms before frantically covering his eyes, screaming how his best friend and cousin had tainted his sight and sanity. He hears a loud cackle from Chanyeol on the other side of the room, the sound of energetic claps bouncing off the walls.

Sehun pulls away from Junmyeon and takes in the sight in front of him. The man is panting like he just ran a marathon, his cheeks and lips a matching shade of bright red. His eyes are hazy with the pupils dilated, and the way his cardigan slips down his shoulder looks absolutely breathtaking to Sehun. “You look like sin,” he drawls. Junmyeon smacks his arm, hiding his face with the sleeve of his cardigan.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” he deadpans, glaring up at Sehun. With much resistance from himself, he tears Sehun’s hands away from his waist and clears his throat. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom real quick.” Sehun lets out a laugh, clutching his stomach.

“Why are you sounding so formal now?” he asks, wiping away a stray tear. He takes control of his laughing and inches closer to Junmyeon, leaning down to reach his ear. “I could help you with that, you know?” he whispers. He enjoys the way the smaller man shudders visibly, smirking when he gets a scowl from the other.

“Don’t even,” Junmyeon growls but the tip of his ears rapidly turning red is a clear indication that he’s not completely against the idea. “I’m going to settle _this_ and you’re going to go back to Chanyeol and Jongin.” Sehun whines and even if it always ends up with Junmyeon not being able to say no, the older is firm this time.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” he promises, reaching up to peck Sehun’s lips. The taller man smiles giddily and complies for once. He skips his way back to the other two, smirking when Jongin looks at him in disgust.

“I shouldn’t have tried to help you two,” he grumbles. “I am absolutely revolted. I should have asked Chan to open the door, would’ve saved me from the trauma.” Chanyeol hits his arm rather harshly. The tall man cranes his neck, an eyebrow arched in curiosity.

“Where’s Jun?” he asks to which Sehun smirks cheekily as a response.

“He needed to... take care of things,” he hints. “Might take him a few minutes.” Jongin feigns a gag, repulsed by the memory that was created mere minutes ago.

“Remember this concept called TMI? Everyone loved TMI, was borderline obsessed with it. Yeah, where the fuck did you throw that shit out?” Jongin rebukes, looking like he’s wanting to strangle Sehun. Chanyeol slaps a hand on the man’s mouth, effectively shutting him up.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just jealous that Soo can’t understand his advances.” Jongin glares at him and the tall man yelps, retracting his hand to knock Jongin on the head. “You disgusting asshole! I’m going to have to sanitize this hand now, asshat.”

“Stop saying ass because I can’t get it,” Sehun says, pouting before it turns into a Cheshire grin. “Yet.”

“Disgusting, absolutely unnecessary, you are the bane of my existence, Oh Sehun, I hope you know that,” Jongin continues to give Sehun an earful of his distaste.

“Too bad, you’re going to see a lot more of me from now on,” Sehun mocks, sticking his tongue out. Jongin leaps from his seat to tackle his friend to the ground, successfully pinning Sehun with his hands above his head. He wiggles his fingers as a threat to the younger and it works because Sehun is squirming under him now, trying to free himself from Jongin’s hold. “Nini, no!” he shrieks, wriggling in a failed attempt to escape from his known fate.

“What’s going on?” They all look up to see Junmyeon standing by the doorway, wringing his wrists with his hair now damp and pushed back. He looks at the sight in front of him curiously, not sure if he really wants to know what happened or if it would be best for him to remain ignorant regarding the situation.

“Jun,” Sehun whines. “Nini’s being mean to me.” Junmyeon shrugs.

“You probably deserved it,” he says, one corner of his lips tugging upwards. Sehun gasps, feigning hurt.

“I didn’t,” he tries defending himself.

“He did, he definitely did,” Chanyeol unhelpfully supplies. “I was here when it happened, sole witness.” Junmyeon motions for Jongin to proceed with what he was planning on doing before. Soon, the room is filled with laughter that’s mainly provided by Sehun who was writhing on the floor from all the tickling Jongin was doing on him.

“Hey, bun?” Sehun calls out for Junmyeon. The man is neck deep in a huge book while he sits on his bed, Sehun tucked into his side. It’s been a couple of months since that road trip and though the both of them have been hanging out with each other more than ever – with the addition of kisses and short make out sessions – there’s something that has been bugging the younger for the past few days.

“Yeah, babe?” the smaller man replies, carding his fingers through Sehun’s hair as he balances the book that he’s reading on his lap. He lets Sehun help him in turning the pages, rewarding the younger with a kiss on his temple. Sehun draws small circles on Junmyeon’s arm, leaving feather touches up and down the same arm, smirking when the older man shivers from the contact.

“What are we?” Sehun asks, eyes downcast. He feels Junmyeon shuffling beside him before a thump that indicates him placing the enormous book to the side.

“What do you mean?” he asks, confusion clear in his voice. Sehun gulps.

“I mean, what is our relationship?”

“I’m confused, aren’t we boyfriends?” Sehun sits upright, staring at Junmyeon with eyes that look like they’re about to pop out of their sockets.

“We are?!” he exclaims as he goes to kneel next to Junmyeon, startling the older man. His best friend – no, _boyfriend_ – carefully nods his head, worried that his words might end up breaking Sehun even more. “When? How? What?”

“Hunnie, the most obvious thing would be that we go on dates,” Junmyeon explains. “A lot of them. We literally go on dates every weekend. Another would be me calling you baby _all the time_.” Sehun opens his mouth to argue that there are people in this world that call their friends baby as a term of endearment but promptly closes his it when he remembers that Junmyeon in fact does not lie in that category.

“You didn’t ask me to be your boyfriend, though,” Sehun pouts. Junmyeon visibly melts as his eyes soften and begin to fill with that familiar adoration that Sehun has grown accustomed to nowadays. The older man brings his hands up to cup Sehun’s face, cooing when the taller man pouts even further to resemble a duckling with his lower lip jutted out. He places a sweet, lingering kiss on those pouty lips and smiles.

“I’m sorry, baby, what was I thinking?” he says, caressing Sehun’s cheekbone with his thumb. “Will you, Oh Sehun, do me the honor of being my boyfriend?” Sehun giggles.

“The pleasure is all mine,” he replies, leaning over to capture his boyfriend’s lips with his own. He revels in the feeling of Junmyeon smiling against his lips and he thinks that this is his happiness. He thinks – _knows_ – that he wants to stay with Junmyeon forever. He wants to be with him in every waking moment and wants him to be the last thing that Sehun sees before he sleeps. He wants to hold the man close in his embrace and feel their hearts beating in sync with one another. He wants to kiss him hard, kiss him with vigor until the other is out of breath yet begging for more, but he also wants to kiss him with so much care to remind him how much he means to Sehun. He wants to take Junmyeon to places that he wants to go, be it Paris, Los Angeles, Rome, anywhere; Sehun is willing to take him. Most importantly, he wants to shower Junmyeon with so much love that he will stink of Sehun’s love and affection for days, months, years even. He wants to love Junmyeon forever.

“Thank you for choosing me,” he whispers against Junmyeon’s lips. “My first friend, my first love.”

“Always, my love,” Junmyeon whispers back. “Always and forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> i couldn't think of a way to end it sorry ><  
> hope you guys liked it though <3


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